82. Gamify connection with these 3 ideas.
What if I told you that the key to reaching your goals isn't more willpower—it's more fun? And that same strategy can be applied to building deeper, stronger relationships.
Data point of the week
Here’s the thing: most of us are terrible at following through on the goals we set. Author Jon Acuff wrote the book Finish specifically to address this issue. He outlines seven strategies that dramatically increase follow through and help people reach the finish line.
Strategy #4 struck me: "Make it Fun if You Want it Done." The research is compelling—choosing an enjoyable approach to your goal increases your success rate by 46%. Nearly half!
The easiest way to inject fun? Turn your goal into a game.
Reflection
There are a lot of things that I want to do (at least theoretically), but don’t like to do. You can probably relate. It’s hard to get motivated to do something that is distinctly NOT FUN.
Take working out, for example. I’ve reached (or maybe passed?) the time of life where if you don’t use it, you lose it. I want to be fit, and to maintain strength and prevent injuries, but UGH. Working out is misery! So, I used the make-it-fun strategy and invited a couple friends to sign up for personal training with me. Don’t get me wrong—I still don’t like working out. But I do like laughing and chatting with my friends. It makes the time pass quickly and keeps me from quitting.
Can you invite friends to join you in pursuing a joint goal?
Or gamify your goal to make it fun, engaging, and motivating? Specific components of games reinforce behavior and hook our interest. For example:
Set a goal, target, or clearly defined end point (most games don’t go on indefinitely). This is essentially the point of the game or how you “win.”
Mark progress, such as a scoreboard, progress bar, stickers, or Xs on the calendar, etc. We get very invested when we see progress.
Offer variable rewards.
You can see this in action with Wordle, which I’ve been hooked on for years now:
It has a clear goal: guess the word in as few tries as possible, with a cutoff of 6.
It marks progress by tracking your correct and incorrect guesses, showing you getting closer to the answer. It also tracks your history, and records the length of your current streak (number of consecutive days played—my current streak is 47).
There’s the intrinsic reward of guessing correctly, as well as improving your record (can you guess it in 3 rather than 4?). Then there’s the extrinsic reward of sharing your results with friends to win their admiration or commiseration. And the reward is variable (the satisfaction of guessing the word in 3 tries, or the disappointment of 5).
Of course, for gamification to work, everyone should agree it’s fun!
Connection Skill & Action Step: Gamify Connection
How can you make a game out of connecting more? Here are 3 ideas:
Create a mini connection challenge for yourself. Set a target and create a scoreboard to track your progress. For example:
Can you give one compliment—or share one thing you appreciate about someone—every day for 15 days? (These can be delivered verbally, over text, email, etc.)
Host a friending event. For example:
Musical friending or speed-friending. Get a group of people together and seat them in pairs across from each other. Provide interesting question prompts for the pairs to respond to. Set a timer for 5 minutes. At the end of the 5 minutes, switch to a new partner and new question(s).
Leisurely friending. Get a group of friends together and seat them in groups of 4 or 5. Provide a few interesting questions (or download the conversation buffet menu). Chat for 30 minutes … or longer. Mix up groups halfway if you want.
Rotating fun. Do this with a group of friends. If there are five people in the group, choose five different dates that you’ll get together, and assign one person to each date to coordinate a fun activity.
Questions. Please share your responses in the comments. I love hearing from you!
Do you have an example of something you’ve made fun (to get it done)? How did it work out?
Have you ever gamified connection? What did you did and how did it go?
Again, we don’t all have the same idea of fun!